The most essential thing in life is to establish an unafraid, heartfelt communication with others - Sogyal Rinpoche
communication is the key to connecting, relating and sharing. whether that's in a personal or professional relation, what makes it real is the emotions, feelings and thoughts that we choose to express to the other. most of the time, things fall apart and people drift away due to impotent or insincere communication that fails to connect and create an atmosphere of trust and camaraderie.
we modern humans have to resort to the use of a learnt language to communicate with each other. people are either afraid to express themselves or donot care enough (for themselves or for others) to genuinely express.
animals are not tied down by differences in language, dialect or accent and connect with each other without confusion. if humans invented language only to be able to hide true intentions and lie, that goal was certainly accomplished. but sadly we lost the ability to truly express our innermost selves; with or without the use of a language.
there are three words or phrases that are paramount to establishing, maintaining and securing genuine relationships with your playmates.
gratitude for gifts given is often expressed hurriedly and the focus returns immediately either to the gift or to one's rejoicing self. the giver is often forgotten or lost in the scheme of things. the goal here is not only to give the giver importance but more so, to stress on the act of giving. gratitude expressed sincerely serves to imbibe in oneself, the attitude of recognising gifts and celebrating their arrival into one's life. being grateful just means you enjoyed what you received and are open to receiving more. saying 'thank you' - if you mean it, say it. if you don't, say so.
honest and sincere expressions of apology are important to convince others of our repentance and effort to make amends. but that's just scratching the surface. effective apologies serve to help us forgive ourselves, our follies and start afresh with a renewed understanding of how we connect within and with the world around us. an apology serves as a pitstop in the mad race we run, where we rethink, reboot and revive our chosen path through the journey of life. so don't be in a hurry to get it over with. it's the best chance you have to find the person you want to be.
this is as important as the previous two and not just to make an impact. it is most important that we learn to express our displeasure and disapproval of how things are. resorting to cussing and slang isn't the answer and what i'm prescribing here is not what you want to hear. it's not ok to curse and defile. it however is important that you learn to express a retort, rebuttal or a difference in opinion in as curt and concise a manner as possible. and there's nothing better than a good ol' fashioned "fuck you!" to start with. this way you don't store your pent up emotions for a rainy day where they burst open and thunder over your head.
express yourself - learn to say 'thank you', 'sorry' and 'fuck you' with equal ease. true expression is hard to come by in a world where imitation is the norm. we grow up learning to emulate others, pick role models to worship and seek to become a copy of the one person we admire the most. education relies on competition to create clones, better than the other but still the same. it's time to break free and express one's own self - truly and honestly. the first step is to be sincere and honest is in your daily communication. these three phrases should give you just the springboard you need to dive into the world of "...honestly expressing yourself."
always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it. - Bruce Lee