dial p.a.t.i.e… for patience
that already got my goat! you may have guessed patience isn't one of my virtues. persistence, maybe. patience, no. i want it. right here, right now. this is how i demand from life, love and everything else that orbits around me.
just like an addict needs his fix when he wants it, i feel the compulsive need to be satiated on demand.
the expectations i have of people are unreal (at least for them). the deadlines i set on projects are excruciating. i can not tolerate small talk of the social kind and end chit chat unless it grabs me by the balls.
yes, i do feel like a hummingbird on crack and that's not just a pretty analogy.
smelling the roses
when everything is rushing past you at speed of a hamster wheel spinning, it's not easy to distinguish between roses and thorns. but why is it really so important to stop?
it's really ironic that someone like me who has always refused to run the rat race, often finds himself caught up in a flurry. going where, you ask? i'm not really certain and that's probably why i like being in a hurry.
it delivers a sense of fulfillment and purpose when there is none. there is a certain air of importance that urgency bestows upon he who wields it.
take a deep breath
whew! it's surprising how hard it is to be soft. that moment of liberation is so elusive that the harder i try, the farther away it appears.
reminds me of when Bruce Lee found himself in a situation where he was frustrated with his growth and development in the arts, he floated around the Hong Kong bay and in frustration, started punching the water. of course to no avail.
that became his satoric trigger else the Bruce Lee we know and remember today may never have existed, "Water can crash, water can flow. Be water, my friend!"
if not now, when?
it's easy to be impatient. you just have to want it now! the hardest part of being patient is not knowing the moment of becoming. then again, what if you don’t believe in becoming?
there's no easy answer to this, if there is one at all. being an atheist, i seek no solace from either god, gospel or trinkets like horoscopes and tarot cards. so it appears there really isn't much choice left.
so i’ll choose instead to wait. patiently. like water weathers down rock. and likewise, i thank you for patiently reading through my raving and rambling every single day. thank you for playing with me.