violence and volume

violence is something i've never had much use for growing up, or so i thought. simply because i never cared for physical sport. but i was probably the most violent kid in the neighborhood. i used my intellect and my eloquent expression to inflict hurt and suffering on many. then again it's easy to forget that silence can also be violence.

speaking ill is a thrill

there's an element of excitement that arises from putting others down. from crushing their spirits and watching them squirm as you control the fine line between life and death, between pride and shame. most of us like to believe that we're morally good and would not want to ever do something like that. not that i don't believe you, but primal instinct which is universal and common to all would act otherwise.

nobody goes to these extremes today but thinking violence is still rampant as ever. even amongst those being bullied. in fact more probably in those being bullied. what we mistake as compassion in people is more often weakness and inability to inflict harm and exact revenge.

but one doesn't need to be on the receiving end of trauma to turn tables and return the favor. children are prone to violence onto animals. this scene from 'Spring Summer Fall Winter and Spring' depicts a young child inflicting cruel torture on helpless animals. what is child's play can also be devious.

screaming shrill is overkill

acts of violence aren't always physical and in a world where physical activity and action is growing lesser by the day, we might consider ourselves immune from the propensity for violence. i wish that were true. it certainly wasn't in my case. in fact it's where it all started. from a silent tantrum to a ear shattering screech, both equally violent in intention though not in expression.

as i grew older i added physical violence to my repertoire of expression and the world felt more controllable. i certainly felt more capable. but the illusion of control itself is easily destroyed by life's circumstances and as much as i huff and puff and try to blow the house down, the house always wins.

so if silence is equivalent to violence than what's the alternative? grappling with this question, i discovered a simple truth; the whisper that echoes. the reason that silence is violent is because it refuses to engage and interact. the reason loud volume is violent is because it does not allow the others to engage.

the whisper then breaks the silence and yet does not silence the other from expressing. i'm yet to master this form of expression but that's my current obsession. playing with the whisper to express emotion while being open to the same from others. for the softness and sweetness i speak of isn't only an act of speech but to be used in all three aspects of thought, speech and deed